Being Different~ Today I realized a shocking truth that was disturbing at first, then led me to believe that this truth makes me a better person. I'm different. That's right, I'm different, and this ain't no gotdamn after-school special. Now even though most people say that being different is okay, most of those same people don't mean it. When they say shit like that, they actually mean, "being different is okay, as long as your different within the boundaries." The boundaries meaning such things as, dress (you can wear different shoes, but if your black they can't be skateboarding shoes, they have to be nikes or reebok, or we'll classify you wit the white people). Now I'm not saying that I run around with skateboard shoes on (I don't). What I'm saying is that if I decided to rock skateboarding shoes, I'd be ridiculed for it and I probably wouldn't want to wear them anymore cause they would just make my social life harder to deal wit. And this, my friends, is where the conflict comes into play. Why are we so scared to be different? Because we want to be "accepted"? Because we want to get that girl who only likes mainstream shit? Because we want to be seen with the cool crowd? or because we're scared of being weird? The answer is all of the above. We don't want to be different, because we have a desire to be accepted by the people who wouldn't accept us if we did wear those skateboarding shoes, or if we dyed our hair green. We want to get the girl (or guy,whatever ur preference) that will only like us if we do the things that everybody else considers normal. We will go through hell to make sure that everyone around us won't give us those "s/he's weird" looks when we're shopping at the mall. After all, "being normal" is human nature, isn't it? We all have that desire to be what everyone wants us to be so we won't have to deal with those looks...so we can be "accepted". That's why I admire those people I see who dare to be different. I admire people who don't give a fuck, because I myself so desperately wish that I had the same attitude. I wish that I had the advantage of going through life not caring if people thought my clothes were bought out the thrift store. I crave that mentality so much, because different people make the world go round. If we didn't have people that dared to be different, the world would be stuck in the 50's. Think about how this country would be today, if we didn't have those few women who decided to wear swimsuits in the old days (no tip drill video's, that's for damn sure) What about if we didn't have the people who wanted to wear different clothing (none of our name brands would exist today). This country is so fixated in churning out garden variety individuals that the only people who truly shine are the ones who say "fuck that!" Now at the beginning of this post, I said that I was different. When I said that, I don't mean that I'm on the whole "fuck that!" level. When I say I'm different, I'm still pretty damn normal, I'm just different within the crowd that I hang out with. I'm usually the most soft spoken one of the group, and I'm the one that never wants to go to club letouts because I feel like it's a waste of time. I'm the one that usually won't fuck a random chick that I just met cause I'm scared of what's out there (keyword: usually. Sometimes I slip up and say "fuck that!" every now and then). I'm the one that's usually the reasonable person saying "nah, don't beat that niggaz ass, it's not worth it." And I'm usually the one that's willing to drive when my niggaz is bent, and their hungry (Don't act like yall don't know what I'm talkin about. ;-) ) Sadly, I'm caught between satisfying my family, my friends, my professors, my peers, and even that random girl who wouldn't talk to me if I wasn't normal. So these realities keep me from truly attempting to experience life at it's fullest by actually being the face in the crowd that's not just another face in the crowd. So for now, I guess I'll have to settle for just being a little different, because being at least a little different is better than not being different at all, right?