Ghostchasin~ Lately, I think about all the so called "codes" I lay out for myself to follow. I think they're bullshit, but despite that fact, they make me feel better as a human being, ya know. Codes like, "I don't lie cause I don't like being lied to..." only make my life harder because no matter how I want to look at it, muthafuckas is gonna lie to me, and that's just life, take it and smile, ya know. But, the main point to shit like that is not to change other's behavior, it's to make me feel like even though others might want to treat me that way, I won't sink to their level. No matter how much I want to go that route, I have to look at shit in the long term of things, and if I change my habits now, it'll probably come and bite me in the ass later. I'm saying this cause, I've been breaking another one of my personal "rules" again. Chasing ghosts. You know the saying, chasing ghosts leaves you empty handed. Once again, I'm forced to learn the hard way just how truthfull these fuckin cliche's are. I think we all know what ghost I was (keyword: was) chasing, but the fact of the matter is, I've done a lot of thinking, I've gotten in contact with my counselor, thanks cri ;-) ,and I'm washing my hands of the things that give me so much shit to work with. Who wants to work with shit? Besides the sanitation crew...and they get paid for it. In any case, I woke up this morning bright and early for class, I felt aiight. You know what "aiight" means: "I don't wanna get out of bed, but fuck it, I'm already awake, so I might as well get up" So I wake up, and my personal ghost is still wispering sweet nothings in my ear, I brush it off and brush my teeth and go to my car, thinking I'm bout to go to class (an 8 o' clock by the way) but it's so fuckin brick outside (I think it was 15 degrees) that my car cuts on me as soon as I put it in gear. Guess that's what I get for trying to speed warm my car and shit. So I go to the trunk, put some oil in my whip ( I don't know why, but putting oil in my car always seems to be the magical solution to my moter problems ). I let it settle and when I turn my car back on it's fine, and the first song I heard on the radio is Ice Cube's "good day". I love that shit, everytime I hear that shit, no matter how bad I feel, I just get a burst of energy to work with, I just get a happy feeling that everything is gonna be better than "aiight", ya know. So I hear that song, by then I'm late for class, but I don't care cause I haven't gotten the book yet anyways, but I drive to campus anyways, to do some other work on the computer. Long story short, if you read all the entries in this site, I always write when it's some really stressfull shit goin on, then I stop for a few months. When I come back, It's like I've matured SO much since the last entry. If my ghost taught me one thing, it's that now, I know what I'm looking for in a woman, and even if I can't have her, I wish her the best in her future endeavors. As for yours truly, I'm just gonna chill (same thing I was doing when I met her) and go bout my business till the next one finds me. I'm going to end this with the great words of my favorite lyricist, who's words grace the wall of my room "I've come to grips wit reality, and wiped the last tear from my eye, I loved all who were positive, in the event of my [emotional] demise" ~Tupac Shakur