Another Year~ I'm sitting here looking pitiful as hell on a saturday night. Bored outa my gourd thinking about me getting older in less than a week. I turn 20 on thursday, and I can finally say officially that I'm not a little kid anymore. Half of me is happy because I'm getting older, because I made it this far, because I'm in my junior year of college, and if I don't fuck up, I'm a graduate next year. Half of me is sad, cause I'm 20 and I feel like I haven't lived my life to the fullest up to this point. I haven't done all the things that I want to do. I wanna travel and see the world, and these are the days to do it. I can't just up and leave and go traveling when I have a nine to five everyday. I can't just bounce if I got a family. That's a big if to the way things are looking. Speaking of that, I have a hard ass time finding girls that I really like. I always meet the crazy ones, that wanna act up all the damn time. The ones that always wanna play and shyt. All the good ones I know are all in the friend zone, and taken. It's a damn shame. If I wasn't so shy, I probably could go out and meet some people, but whenever I'm around a bunch of people, I just sit and observe. I see clown ass niggas get more play than me, spitting wack ass lines, wearing wack ass clothes, and have wack ass goals in life. It's fuckin disgusting. Meanwhile, I'm a nigga trying to make something of myself, and I bring all kinds of good shyt to the table, and bitches can't see that shyt. All they see is that, I'm not the most well known nigga around the way, so they shrug and go on. Maybe it's the truth, or maybe I'm just seeing things the wrong way, but to me, even when things look good, fate always finds a way to fuck up my fun, to take my pleasure away from me when it's within a hairs length away. Peep this story. This happened last weekend. I'm chillin with my boys and what not, and we do our little weekend thing. I have to get up for work the next day at like 9 cause I have to be there by 11, and I have to drive all the way from Norfolk to Hampton. I know ahead of time that I'm gonna be working the whole day (11AM to 11PM) a crucial ass schedule. So I leave the scene at around 2 am, intending to go to sleep. So I'm on my way to my crib and my roommate (who is an RA by the way) is standing outside with 2 other RA's, a boy and a girl ( I'll call them Will and Grace) I'm out there talkin to my roomie, will and grace when some NSU niggas start smokin tree's outside. So Grace being an RA, tells them to go somewhere else to smoke, she didn't even tell them to put it out, just back down the area bout 30 feet so it wouldn't be all out there. They wanna mouth off and shyt, and Grace gets pissed. So she threatens to call Po Po on them. The whole time they arguing me, will and my roomie are like "Damn, if some shyt goes down and these nigga's flip, we're gonna have to step in" and we wasn't trying to deal with all that. So we go inside, Grace calls the police, yada yada yada. Fast forward bout 20 min. I'm in the crib alone and I'm bout to go to sleep, It's about 2:50 by then. When this girl from HU calls me. She want's to come over. So I'm like, "Ok, no girl is gonna call this late at night, and drive from Hampton to Norfolk, just to sit and talk." So I'm thinking "Booty Call" I hang up with her, and I'm bout to go tell my roommate the deal. When I open the door, there is this other girl that I used to talk to standing outside. (lets call her Crazy) Well when I open the door, I see the back of crazy's head, and I'm like "Oh hell nah, I ain't fuckin with her" so I close the door nice and soft so she doesn't notice. Next thing I know, I hear my roommate yelling "Crazy just go inside and sit down." So she come's in, I run to my room in the back so she doesn't see me, but she comes back anyways asking "why don't u call me anymore". I tell her I'm busy, then I walk out. At this point I tell my roommate that I have company coming and he's like "Damn, I wouldn't have sent Crazy in there if I had known that. Want me to get her out." I try to play it low key and say no, it'll look real bad. So I ask Grace to do it. Grace get's her out the house, and as soon as they turn the corner, HU girl comes around the other corner. Crazy right? So HU girl come in and we watchin the movie. She tells me that she's gonna sleep over, and I'm all for it. So she strips down to her unmentionables and slips in the bed. And I try a few things, but all she want's to do is lay. I'm blown by this point, not even mad at her, just mad at my damn luck. After all that damn trouble, I'm up with this girl knowing that I have to work all day the next day, and I ain't getting shyt to compensate for it. So, I'm litterally laughing to myself. One of those, "I can't believe this shyt" laughs and I don't get to sleep till 7AM. Two hours later I'm getting up, tired as a bitch, and I'm still trippin over the night. I feel like listening to some scarface, so I grab the case and jump in my car, and I have biggie in the whip. I listen to the rest of the song that was already playing, and then I pull out my scarface, open it up, and it ain't no scarface in there, just some Slow Jam CD. I'm buggin by this time like "What the fuck?" Then I have to suffer through 12 hours of hard work off 2 hours of sleep. By the time I get off, I''m thinkin "My life sucks." I'm through talking.