Sickasadog~Last night everything was cool, I was chillin wit my boys, I was feelin fine. Thats sayin a lot based on the fact that I felt so terrible practically the whole day. But today I wake up at like 7 in the morning. That's just not normal for me. I beat my alarm. My stomach is mad bubblely and I'm cold as hell. My window is not open. It broke yesterday when I tried to open it. Anways, I'm cold as hell and I get that feeling, you know that feeling when you know ur about to throw up. And I shoot to the bathroom, and let it go. I still don't feel better but I go back to sleep. I'm thinkin it was some tacos that I had the night before. I thought niggas poisoned me. I was mad, then I got another feeling and I get that diareah (sp?) problem, and I throw up along wit it. Then I run out of shit to throw up and just start dry heaving. Not a pretty site. I think I was scaring my roommates. I was scared my damn self. I've never been sick like this before. So I calls my mom, and she diagnoses me wit the flu, tells me what to get and I barely make it to the store and back before I start heaving again. Take some medicine and go back to sleep. I've been quaranteened in my room all day. Shit sucks.

Hellislifeonearth~ Forgive me for sounding so foreboding today. I had a fucked up night, and the second I wake up, I get some fucked up news. I don't know how to say this in order for it to give the most impact but, have you ever been so mad, so upset, so unconsolable, that you feel like u can't even ask God for help? That's pretty much how I feel right around now. I don't know, it just seems like when I believe I'm going the right way, looked at the map correctly, and took the right path when the fork in the road comes up, I always find out about 5 miles too late that I was looking at the map upside down. It's terrible. I need some kind of outlet for the pain I'm feeling now, but I don't know what, if I knew what, I wouldn't know how, and if I knew how, I doubt I'd be able to do it. I bet your wondering, "what the hell is wrong wit this nigga?" Well guess what, I can't post everything in my head up here. Too much information about yourself is bound to give the wrong people ammunition to affect you negatively sometime in life. I don't know, maybe when this all blows over, I'll share, but right now, it's just not happening. Anyways, My Life: Volume 3 is coming soon, I just don't feel like typing much now. B E Z.

Emotionz~ Dammit, I seriously need to vent in some way shape or form. I'm so fucked up in the head right now, I can't even write poetry, and that's sayin a hell of a muthafuckin lot. I'm so pissed, I can't even get specific. I just gotta write and keep typing to expell some of my energy. I really, really, really try to be a good person. I really do. *sigh* but I can feel the loose cannon coming back with a vengeance. I feel like Bruce Banner right now. I've kept shit down so long, it's like boiling up inside of me and any little thing can make me flip the script and snap on anybody. Innocent or not. I just cannot explain what the fuck I'm feeling right now. I'm going to bed, I'll feel better in the morning. Shit, Damn, Muthafucka!!

My Life: Volume 2, pt. 2~ I know, I know, my titles are getting outta control. But fuck it. It's my shit, I do what the fuck I want wit it. Anyways, I left off last time after talkin bout my lil mishap wit the law, and if ur wondering what happened wit that, 1) the community service was a joke. I spent basically two days driving around wit B-love pickin niggas up and delivering things. Errand boy. It was more like a vacation then anything. I'm supposed to be gettin punished, and the cats that are supervisin us are buyin us lunch and putting a full tank of gas in my car. lol. Sometimes life can be soooo good. And if we wern't running errands, we were just sittin around talkin to the other people on community service, a few HU negros and negresess. The whole experience was an excuse to make new connections. Anyway, part two of the C.A.S. saga continues while I talk about...HU girl from a couple posts down. Heh, HU girl. I have to say, she was cool peoples sometimes, but on other times, she was down wit some other shit, like the story that I told before. Makin me drive all the way from Norfolk to Hampton, and back to Norfolk, only to turn right around 20 min later and take her ass back to Hampton. The hell kind of shit is that? Anyways, I got tired of her playin games wit me. Now before I tell this story, I have to say that usually, I'm a pretty forgiving person. Two years ago, I wasn't that way. I was a fuckin loose cannon, and I would flip over some dumb shit. But as the years have passed, I've learned to control my temper, and forgive people, even when they do some fucked up shit to me. Anyways, back to tha story. After we got back from summer vacation this year, she called me (she's from atlanta, so I only saw her when school was in session) and we would talk and whatnot. I'm not really a phone person, so most of the time she was doing most of the talking. And she was just sayin some fucked up shit (can't even remember what she said, I just remember it was fucked up). So I'm like fuck this nice guy shit. Her birthday was coming up, and she's throwing hints that she wants me to take her out on her birthday. I'm like, "aiight, I can do that." I'm gassin her up all week bout the shit, tellin her all the things I'm gonna do, and when the night comes, I end up chillin wit some girls that I drink wit on the regular. Yeah, I did it. I stood her ass up, on her muthafuckin birthday. That's some grimy shit, I'll be the first to admit it. But she crossed the line and tried my fuckin patience. I don't think niggas understand that I come from a place where niggas did dirty shit to cats everyday, and that me and my best friends grew up around these dudes. I can do a muthafucka dirty and not think twice about it. But I'm trying to become a better person, so I reserve that right for emergency's only. Me gassin her up and standing her ass up on her B-day was some emergency shit. But that was a while ago, and now I feel kinda bad about it, but whats done is done, haven't talked to her since. Life goes on. Stay tuned for My Life: Volume muthafuckin 3. It's a doozie. (don't act like you ain't never heard that shit before, lol)

My Life: Volume 2~ Damn. My last post wasn't since last april, and it's damn near april again. Damn near a fuckin year. Lot of shit done gone down since then. I clearly didn't live up to my word and put up a story everyday. Which is just as well cause when I look at all my old entries I get a clear picture of how wack my ass can be sometimes. Anyways, u know when I'm writin in this muthafucka some shit done went down. But I'm a take a few stories from the past and catch niggas up on whats been goin down in the life of C.A.S. Hmmm...where to start, where to begin? Hows bout we start last year, round the Summer of '03. Up to this point, I've ran through many girls, and when I say run through, I don't mean I fucked all of them, just that I've been making my rounds and shit. Anyways, summertime. I had some good times this past summers. Long story short, I got in orgy's, damn near had a threesome, got my dick sucked a couple times, had a girl want me just for sex (that just doesn't happen in real life! Heh, but it happened to me this summer) got fucked up plenty of times, played nudie games wit girls, went on various adventures wit my niggas. And that spans over like the first two months of the summmer. I'm a have to break this entry into two parts. Anyways, the biggest shit I got into was wit my mans B-love. Long story short, me and B, and this cat named...(lets call him sappy) were smokin a blunt in a cut that we basically had taken over for a year and a half. On this day however, the people that live around there decided that they were tired of us and apparently called the cops on us. The image burned in my head will never leave me for the rest of my life. I just see a bright ass light shine in my car and I know it's over. Cops ask us what we were doin and we try to lie. They threaten us wit the K-9 and jail, so we fess up and basically we get away wit a one way ticket to criminal court for marijuana. Sucks. At this point, I'm definetly trying to keep this shit from my parents and I succeed for a month, then the day before my court date, my car wants to fuck up and start leaking oil. I fill my shit up right before i go to court and hope my shit don't lock up before I get back. Everything is cool when I get back. My punishment? One year of probation, 24 hours of community service, suspended license for 6 months (which I got back in January), random piss testing, and a guilty conscience. After court, my car is still fuckin up, and my moms is basically like "we're tired of fixing it, we're just gonna get u another one." Now at first I'm happy as hell, but then I think. "If I'm gonna get a new car, I'm a need to test drive it, if I test drive it, I'm a need a license. I don't have license cause the court just took it away today. Shit, that means I'm a have to tell them." I literally sit in my yard for 3 hours thinking about how I'm a tell my mom that I caught a weed charge. Her "perfect, 'I got a son in college who means the world to me' son. Not an easy thing. Anyways, long story short, when I told her that I had something to tell her, she thought I had gotten someone pregnant, and when she found out it was weed charge, she just shrugged it off, and went bout her business. The most I got was a "I hope u learn ur lesson" speech. That was one of the biggies of the summer. See the other post for the rest of My Life: Volume 2